This week I listened to a podcast from HBR Women at Work that caught my attention with the title “Helping Men Help Us”. In this 47-minute podcast, they covered a number of enlightening topics including:
Research findings on the two broad categories of the things that men were doing when they showed up really as allies for women at work (Interpersonal and Systemic).
What is it that men most struggle with in trying to support the women at work (not knowing what to do).
The idea of a “fake ally” and how women might address this.
and How to adapt Employee Resource Groups to accommodate the inclusion of men.
But, the discussion that really hit home for me was the story of how men get themselves in trouble because they say to their female colleagues (creepy voice inserted) “Hey, I would like to mentor you.”
It kind of reminds me of the mentee who asks someone “Will you be my mentor?” Most of the time, the potential mentor takes a step back, trying to find the right words to gently say “no” because they have no idea what to expect or what the mentee is really asking.
The guest author (Brad Johnson) has a great idea on a different approach. Instead of “Can I mentor you?”, he recommends taking a more specific approach. “Hey, I saw you do that presentation. I was so impressed. I want to make sure we keep you here. If you’d ever like to have a conversation about next steps, feel free to stop by.” His advice is to be very contextualized, and then you have little to worry about.
WOW – doesn’t that sound more encouraging than (creepy voice) “Can I mentor you?”
Women need the support of other women, as well as the support of men. And we need to do our part to collaborate with the men in our workplace to help them understand, from our perspective, how it is they can truly help.
Hope you enjoy the podcast – and if you have other interesting podcasts, please share them with me.
Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash