Building rapport and trust in a mentoring relationship takes a commitment of time and energy, patience and consistency. Midway through your mentoring journey you may feel the energy continue to build as you and your mentoring partner engage in dynamic discussions.
However, you may find the opposite. Maybe the energy and excitement begin to wane. Maybe you haven’t found that connection. Maybe life or career shifted and one of you have new or different responsibilities. If this happens, it’s important that you do not abandon the mentoring journey. Instead, re-energize your mentoring relationship.
Use these three tips to get back on track: Reflect...Review...ReConnect
REFLECT...as Shawn Mintz advises “think about what it is that you appreciate about your partner, some of the lessons that you have integrated into your personal and professional life and how you have grown as a result of this relationship. Tell your mentoring partner about this and take some time to say thank you.” You should also reflect on why you entered the mentoring partnership and the commitment you both made in the beginning. This brings us to the second tip.
REVIEW....review your goals and areas of curiosity that you outlined in your application/profile. Which ones have you achieved? Do some need to be modified or are there any new ones to add? Review your mentoring agreement to see if the circumstances compel you to amend the agreement.
RECONNECT...share your reflection and review with your mentoring partner and set out a plan together to reconnect. Try changing it up. If you’re meetings have primarily been via phone, maybe try a video call. If your discussions have been mainly a Q&A, try shifting gears to a discussion about a podcast or article you both listen to/read. Maybe work with your mentee to create a list of activities for future visits and choose a new one each week. MSU suggests “If your mentee isn’t talking much, you can give them time and find activities to share that will provide an opportunity for them to open up.” Consider volunteering together to get to know each other from a different perspective. I scheduled a virtual yoga class with my mentor and we not only got to laugh at (with) each other as we tried eagle pose, we also got to enjoy the 60-minutes of connecting mind-body-breath even though we were almost 2 thousand miles apart.
Do what works for you, the important thing is to keep (or regain) the energy. A mentoring relationship is one of the most valuable relationships you can build. I hope these tips for Reflect, Review and Reconnect will help you continue building when the process seems to stall.
Photo courtesy of skye-studios on UnSplash