Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Empathy is an essential leadership skill. I was going to write today about some best practices and tips on how to lead with empathy. And then I read a Facebook post from my friend Mel Boyd.
It reads:
“I’m sad, scared and uncomfortable. I’m sad that it is 2020 and this is real.
I’m scared for my husband. When he leaves for a simple bike ride or a long work trip, I always tell him to be safe. But I know it’s not up to him. He could be dressed well, he could follow every direction given to him, he could use sir and ma’am in his responses and yet none of that matters. I’m scared for our son. For our future conversations. That we can do everything to protect him and inform him and it could all still come crashing down in a second because of the color of his skin.
I’m uncomfortable posting something like this. Honestly. But it’s not about me! I think that’s part of the problem though, so here it is. I will never understand, how could I? The fears my husband has, I don’t think about. That is my privilege. I’m aware because of him and I am acutely aware because of our son. There has to be justice, there has to be change. And there has to be more white people overcoming their discomfort because it is NOTHING compared to the feelings and fears felt for being Black in America. 🖤”
I actually met Mel through her husband Jacob who worked for me at Southwire. I remember Jacob coming to Chicago in the middle of winter to interview and then he spent a full day walking around downtown looking at apartments in his dress shoes and a new parka….and it was 20 below! And Jacob was from Atlanta!
It was a funny story at the time….but now I cannot imagine him trying to do that, given the state of unrest and turmoil in the city of Chicago (and other cities around the world).
When I read Mel’s post, it made me realize that, while I may strive to have empathy, I will never truly know what it’s like to “walk in his shoes”. So what can I do? I can work, as Mel puts it, to “overcome the discomfort”.
Like Mel, I was uncomfortable posting something like this. But it’s not about me. Empathy is about others. And as I reflect on the black men in my life and career (specifically Alex Willis, James Hart, and Jacob Boyd) I want to thank you for your inspiration and at the same time apologize for not opening the door for a conversation about what it’s like to be a black man in America and specifically in the electrical industry.
Thank you, Mel for your inspiring post! I hope my sharing your insights will inspire others to open the door for conversation and overcome the discomfort.