What’s the biggest challenge for individuals to enjoy the benefits of a mentoring relationship?
You guessed it....finding a good mentor.
I recently facilitated a round table discussion at the NAED Women In Industry Forum (#NAEDWII) around this very topic. The women at the table represented a wide variety of roles, responsibilities and experience levels. Most understood the value of mentoring and its many benefits, but all were stumped as to where to find a good mentor.
There was lively conversation and sharing of insights and ideas. We also talked about what are the characteristics of a “good” mentor.
Here is a summary of their input:
Finding a mentor
Here are some of the ideas shared at the table regarding how and where to find a mentor.
Manager recommends someone
HR helps identify someone
Associations (Industry, Business, Local Chapters, etc)
College acquaintances, alumni
6-degrees...ask someone you know to connect you with someone they know. Ask questions that might lead to someone they know.
Group mentoring...find people who are struggling with similar issues and form a group to discuss and share ideas.
Peer mentoring...2-way mentoring.
Facebook groups
Friends
Vendors
LinkedIn..turn on “Your skills” or “Expertise” to make connections. Post on LinkedIn “I’m seeking a mentor to help me develop my xyz skills”
Additional notes and comments from the discussion:
Look for People with the “super power” you’re looking to develop
Be specific and intentional
Don’t get into an echo chamber with a mentor who is like you, find someone who is different.
Build your network of mentors based on “all the things you need to round out your capabilities”. Find a different mentor to help with each area where you have gaps.
”Secret mentor” concept...some people are mentoring us, but they don’t even realize (or call it) “mentoring”. You don’t have to use the term “mentor”.
Not good when Company “assigns” a mentor but there’s no connection
Not good when mentor approached the mentee, but mentor was very closed off.
Asking someone to be your mentor....it’s ok to “just ask” but not out of the blue. Request a meeting or put time on their calendar, then share your goal and explain why you’ve identified them as a potential mentor. Don’t be offended if they say .no.
Being a good mentor
Here are some of the ideas shared at the table on the attributes and characteristics that make a good mentor.
Trust, Respect, Compassion, Empathy
An “Encourager”
Someone you’re comfortable speaking with candidly, a Confidant
Honest, straight shooter who’s willing to give you feedback: Good, bad, ugly.
Good mentors are volunteers...not “volunTOLD”.
Good mentors don’t do it “just to check the box”.
Don’t lecture; instead listen and advise/suggest
Not “Judgy”
Check-In and offer Accountability to Mentee for acting on some of the ideas.
Has to be a 2-way relationship
Thanks to this dynamic group of women for their insights and ideas!
I’m passionate about mentoring and my mission is to enable and empower individuals in our industry to understand and capitalize on the power of mentoring. It was exciting to hear from and learn from these talented women.
If you have additional ideas or comments, let’s keep the conversation going. Please feel free to comment below or shoot me an email at info@kjcompany.net.